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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408440">Kevin needs a h ug</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_v_c_r/pseuds/n_v_c_r'>n_v_c_r</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Welcome to Night Vale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I wrote this in class, Kevin’s ~trauma~, M/M, Strexcorp, be warned, seriously i was real sad, tw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,502</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_v_c_r/pseuds/n_v_c_r</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The past was a dangerous place to linger. It was filled with bloodshed and pain and betrayal, at least for Kevin. He did his best to ignore what had happened, but it was difficult when it was part of every piece of you. Kevin wasn’t really sure if he was… him. His entire identity might just be the Strexcorp teachings, and that scared him more than anything else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Strexcorp was a gruesome company. Kevin remembered the way that his heart broke for the small businesses they ran out of town, remembered how he had lost countless nights of sleep as he worried if the radio station was the next victim. He remembered frowning in the mirror, panic rising every time he smiled, not sure if that would be his last natural one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles/Kevin (Welcome to Night Vale)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kevin needs a h ug</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW- GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF SUICIDE AND CUTTING</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charles calling Kevin ‘sunshine’ makes me soft</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The past was a dangerous place to linger. It was filled with bloodshed and pain and betrayal, at least for Kevin. He did his best to ignore what had happened, but it was difficult when it was part of every piece of you. Kevin wasn’t really sure if he was… him. His entire identity might just be the Strexcorp teachings, and that scared him more than anything else.</p>
<p>	He shook himself to pay attention to what he was doing, which was getting ready for bed. Donovan was already asleep, and Charles was reading some book in his. Kevin was drying his hair off, and he stared at the spot where he had put one his razors, in the travel toiletry bag he had packed anytime he stayed over at Charles’s. Should he?</p>
<p>	Kevin put the towel down, grabbing the razor and locking the door. He wouldn’t truly hurt himself. Just enough to make his mind go quiet for a little bit. It was always easier to just let it happen, to let Strex’s influence take over. It was constant, a buzzing in his head that he could never make shut up. He could usually ignore it, but sometimes, he couldn’t take it anymore. It was exhausting.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Strexcorp was a gruesome company. Kevin remembered the way that his heart broke for the small businesses they ran out of town, remembered how he had lost countless nights of sleep as he worried if the radio station was the next victim. He remembered frowning in the mirror, panic rising every time he smiled, not sure if that would be his last natural one.</p>
<p>	Then, Lauren Mallard walked into his life. She had a contagious smile- like a sickness, not a laugh. She started working at the station, and while Kevin didn’t like it, she never did anything that he could prove. So, she was his intern, for a while, as he read off the news every day.</p>
<p>	Sometimes, he would catch his muscle pulling apart his lips, showing his teeth in an uncomfortable way. It was odd, and he forced his face to relax. Every time, he’d catch Lauren staring at him, the white of her teeth a little too visible for his liking. He shook off the feeling of her eyes, and would continue to read.</p>
<p>	“Listeners, I don’t know about you, but I don’t like this new… Strex-corp.” He watched Lauren, seeing her face… contort. It was a very weird sight- her cheeks, split open from something Kevin would rather not imagine, still had the shape of a smile- but her actual mouth was frowning as she heard Kevin’s thoughts.</p>
<p>	“I know that I should keep my opinions out of the news, but I just can’t help myself! Strex… it’s a faux-friendly big business corporate monster! I can’t help but feel sad every time I see another one of our friendly little hometown business get bought out by them. Now, listeners, I don’t condone illegal activity, but I’m just saying: If it’s a chain, they can handle a loss or two! Just don’t steal from the family-owned businesses here in the Bluffs!”</p>
<p>	Lauren looked livid. She was on the phone, nodding and talking, although Kevin couldn’t understand what she was saying.</p>
<p>	That was the last time he had said something nasty against Strexcorp. After that, the station got him fired- almost certainly by bribing the pushover that was the Station Management. He still went to the station, of course. He was the only person who knew the ins and outs of it, and he continuously unplugged mics, blocked frequencies, and just became a general nuisance to Lauren’s news reporting. He would often tell stories- never the news, because he was never sure whether or not he was being accurate. He would tell the stories, trying not to cry, as he knew his friends and family were catching the sickness Lauren had brought.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>	Kevin put the blade on his shoulder, before running it across his skin fast and deep as he could. He had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound, blood droplets already forming and falling across his arms.</p>
<p>	His mind only got louder. He slashed again and again, until his shoulder was a mess of sticky red and opened skin. The buzzing felt like it was right in his ears, and he shut his eyes tight to try and keep the tears from falling. He switched to the other shoulder, doing the same thing, knowing it won’t help. Soon, his shoulders were marred and Kevin stared in the mirror, horrified at what he’d done.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>	They had bought the station, after a while. He didn’t understand why, though. Everyone in town had already been changed, so he didn’t understand why they decided that they needed to tear his world apart even more. He made a promise to himself, that’s he would never let them win. No matter how long it took, or how many people suffered. He refused to let them get their way.</p>
<p>	That is, until they stormed the station. He was out front, the doors locked with giant chains that Kevin had shoved on them, himself at the forefront. The radio host refused to move, even when they threatened him and… and his family.</p>
<p>	“Kevin!” He heard a familiar voice, and nearly started crying as he saw his boyfriend, Daniel, thrown in front of him. He had tear streaks across his face, and he was bleeding, although Kevin couldn’t tell from where. Lauren grabbed Daniel’s wrist, pulling it up, and Kevin saw where the blood was coming from.</p>
<p>	They had turned Daniel into something else. Wires protruded from his wrists, and there was a chip on the back of his neck, glowing suspiciously bright. Lauren pressed a button, ignoring how it sticked to the inside of Daniel’s skin, and he… stood. It was jerky and unnatural, and Daniel was smiling that sick smile. He reached up, a partial-metal hand resting on his face. Then, he reached into his face-</p>
<p>	And tore out his eye. Kevin screamed, letting the sobs take over, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. It was as if he was glued to the spot, and he watched as Daniel tore apart his body, blood spurting and dripping everywhere. As it flowed, though, it turned to a glossy black, and Kevin felt his stomach lurch as he realized it wasn’t blood anymore. It was oil. </p>
<p>	Kevin begged for Lauren to stop. He begged for her to leave Daniel out of this, that it was all his fault. She only laughed, her smile forcing its way onto his face. He didn’t stop begging until they were dragging him off, leaving Daniel’s lifeless carcass behind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Kevin stared at the bloody razor, pressing it to his wrist, digging it into his skin and pulling longways, watching the blood come up. He whimpered a little, but his arms didn’t stop mutilating themselves. They went faster, switching to the other wrist when the cuts started overlapping. He was almost there, almost to his veins. If he just pressed a little more, he wouldn’t have to hurt anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>	The first thing they did was make him smile. They didn’t bother to knock him out, only tying him down as tight as they could, and using a blade to force his cheeks apart. The pain only was made worse as his tears hit the fresh cuts, and he could uncomfortably feel the way every part of his inner mouth could feel the air of them, the way that he drooled helplessly now that there weren’t any walls to stop the spit.</p>
<p>	Next, Lauren and her friends used a dull needle to pierce a stitch at the corners of his ‘smile,’ and then to pull his cheeks away from his face, so the cuts could only heal wide open, instead of a large scar that it could have been.</p>
<p>	They left Kevin there for what could have been day, weeks, maybe even months. The only food he got was just barely enough to keep him alive, sleep becoming an unnecessary need. He couldn’t feel his body anymore. Eventually, he gave up, just letting his body slump and letting his mind open up to the pain it had been blocking out. He smiled, willingly, giving in to the conditioning they were putting him through. He was still crying, hard enough that he honestly couldn’t see anything.</p>
<p>	Lauren had come in every day after she realized his will was breaking. She would read off Strexcorp’s mission statements, their goals and why they were doing them. The first couple of days, he tried to protest, to tell her that she was wrong, that she had ruined everything.</p>
<p>	Every time he would attempt to stay something, unintelligible because of the restraints on his mouth, she would only smile softly. “You know, Kev, this would all be so much easier if you just comply. I don’t want to hurt you! I only want to make you productive. If you do, everything will be easy. It’ll all be good, and you’ll be happy.”</p>
<p>	One time, he just started screaming at those scripted words. He didn’t stop when she left the room, or when he felt his smile getting pulled painfully, the scabs getting ripped from his skin. He didn’t stop when his voice was hoarse and his head hurt more than it had since Daniel died. He didn’t even stop when there was nothing coming out- just a slight passing of air through his throat.</p>
<p>	The next day, she was back. The same propaganda, the same sick smile, the same infuriating voice. He didn’t dare protest, this time, and once she was gone, he felt… happy? He smiled, laughing, even though nobody could hear it through his lost and damaged voice.</p>
<p>	The same routine kept going, every day Kevin felt his will cracking just a little more. Eventually, the cuts scarred over, and the pulling on his cheeks was gone. She came in, sitting down. No propaganda today. She nodded towards one of the cameras, and Kevin was free. The restraints were gone. He picked his arm up, shaking a little, confused as to what was happening.</p>
<p>	“Come on, Kev. You’ve been good lately, no need to hurt you right now. I’ll take you to your room.”</p>
<p>	He was a bit wobbly, as he hadn’t even walked in what he believed to be well over a couple weeks. She helped him along, taking him to a room that he had mixed feelings about. The walls were covered in blood, and imagery of smiles and a odd centipede were everywhere. But, there was a bed, and a desk, and pillows and blankets. They made their way to the bed, Kevin sitting down on the soft material.</p>
<p>	“Now. I’d like to interest you in a debate! Won’t that be fun?”</p>
<p>	Kevin stared at her, shrugging. “Okay,” he said, in a whisper. His voice still hadn’t recovered.</p>
<p>	“Perfect! Now, what do you think of Strexcorp?”</p>
<p>	“It’s-“ two sides of his brain were warring so intensely that he started getting a headache. Damn it, Kevin, it’s Strex! They’re the ones that killed Daniel! Are you seriously gonna just do what they want you to? I thought I was better than this. The other, a much more foreign voice, was saying Well! Strexcorp is such a great business! They took me in and made me smile, don’t you see it? </p>
<p>	Lauren was a little concerned about the hesitation. But it was only for a moment, as Kevin soon finished his thought. “It’s a lovely business! They’ve increased productivity since they came into Desert Bluffs, and I am so… so… happy! I can’t wait to get to work!”</p>
<p>	She had seemed satisfied with his response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>There was the buzzing again, the swarm of bees and flies making any sounds muffled. Almost robotically, he held out his wrist, pressing the blade into it and cutting. It wasn’t the fast and deep cuts on his shoulders, more of a slow and painful shallow one, and he couldn’t help the sound of pain as it hit a vein.</p>
<p>STOP! Kevin gripped the blade. He couldn’t kill himself, not yet. He didn’t really want to do it. He just knew that he didn’t want to be alive. Kevin stared at what had happened. He- he needed stitches. He needed to get first aid. He needed Charles-</p>
<p>	No. He didn’t. He deserved to deal with this on his own. He’d already screwed Strexcorp over, he couldn’t show the world another disappointment.</p>
<p>	“Kevin? You alright? You’ve been in there for a while,” he heard Charles say. Kevin’s heart started racing, and he fumbled to hide the razor, throwing it into the toiletry bag.</p>
<p>	“Just fine, Charlie! I’m finishing up,” he smiled, scratching at the scars on his face. He tried to ignore how he felt his consciousness slipping away from him.</p>
<p>	Charles paused for a second, then knocked quietly. “Can I come in?”</p>
<p>	Kevin’s heart jumped into his throat. “N-No,” was all he said. “I’m fine…” He collapsed to the floor, staring at the pool of blood that was starting to form.</p>
<p>	The doorknob rattled as Charles attempted to come in, and Kevin felt his mind go to all those times Lauren had hurt him for having his door locked. He made a small sound, pressing his palms to his eye sockets. Charles started panicking, using all his strength to break the doorknob off- they lived in a really old house, so it wasn’t the hardest of feats.</p>
<p>	As he came in, Charles’s face dropped as he saw the blood on Kevin, the deep cuts and scratches. “Oh. Fuck. Fuck. I need to get you to the-“</p>
<p>	“No! I’m fine. I can’t- I lost a lot more blood with Strex. I’ll be fine.” He lied.</p>
<p>	“Kevin. Please. I can’t- I’m calling the ambulance.” Kevin heard Charles rush to get his phone, and a faint, urgent voice, and then he fell asleep.</p>
<p>	-</p>
<p>	Kevin woke up in a hospital bed, his wrists bandaged and hurting. Charles was sitting in the chair opposite him, looking worried. When Charles saw that Kevin was awake, his face lit up, just a bit, before dimming back down.</p>
<p>	“Kevin, sunshine. Are you okay- Do- fuck. I’m just…” Charles cut himself off, sighing. ”I’m just… glad you’re still here.”</p>
<p>	The radio host just stared, then started sobbing, his breaths choking and his sobs loud. </p>
<p>	Charles held Kevin’s hand. ”Hey- hey. It’s okay. You’re safe here, okay? What’s going on?”</p>
<p>	Kevin didn’t say anything at first, just staring at the bandages. “I just… I wanted the buzzing to stop. I wanted to think without Strex’s input.”</p>
<p>	Charles nodded. “Okay. What can I do to help?”</p>
<p>	Kevin looked up, surprised. “Oh. I don’t… I don’t know. Just… I don’t know. Nobody has asked me that before.” </p>
<p>	“Can I hug you?”</p>
<p>	Kevin let him. The numbness had set in, and he just wanted to pass out. Kevin fell asleep, snuggled in Charles’s arms.</p>
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